Everyone has issues accepting themselves. It's part of the grand scheme of growing up. Coming from a woman who has always been larger than the norm and on the different side, I know all too well the struggle of body acceptance and expression within society and myself.
I don't normally take time to write my opinions on situations like this anymore, mostly because I haven't felt the need to. I have, as it seems, found a good medium for myself in accepting the way I look and who I am with my interests and personality. However, there have been certain instances of posts I've read on other blogs that have led me to think on the issue of body positivity, acceptance and expression once again.
Throughout finding my own acceptance, I've used a lot of sources of outside support; sites like tumblr, blogger, and plus size magazines. Not to mention the large amount of women representing the thicker girls in great ways and promoting self love, as we all should, like Tess Munster. The internet is a great place to find support but unfortunately, it's also a great place to have that support torn down.
Which brings me to why I feel like blabbing about an issue that get's talked about by much more important people than myself. How my opinion may not matter, I feel like it's something that I want to get off my chest.
Recently a blog that I have followed for a while made a post regarding insensitive tattoos and cultural expression being made as a fashion statement. It was very short and worded in a way that made it seem insensitive in itself.
"Culturally insensitive tattoos? Native American headdresses on skulls on a white person!
Culturally inappropriate things on your body? Bindis on white people! Dreads on white people!
Things that do not belong to us. Things that should not be on our bodies"
While I understood the general idea of where the poster was coming from, it still didn't entirely make sense of the goal they were trying to attempt, other than to possible offend or gain more followers. I explained my opinion on those single issues on my tumblr which you can read as follows:
"I get people flagging other people for insensitivity for other cultures and or personal interests. I get that and I’m not saying a person has a right to just ignore something if they feel like it is offending to them and or their culture. However, sometimes when you point out something that you may find insensitive might be not known as to the person who is creating it as insensitive. Everyone reacts to things differently and everyone feels differently about certain things. Some people are a little more naive and possibly even ignorant than others in the way they may express themselves or act, in which I’m not saying you should take those people with kinder reactions to the way they’ve made you feel, but I think maybe before jumping the gun and going full force into telling someone ‘Hey, you’ve greatly offended me’ maybe assess the situation. Because there are instances where maybe an individual may be influenced by a variety of cultures or social groups, everyone comes from a variety of dynamics and it’s not really fair to just simply judge someone’s story from the front cover of how they look. It’s not really fair to simplify someone down to white, black, native american, etc because in today’s world people grow up in so many different settings, experience so many different things while they grow up that make them who they are. I’m not telling anyone to accept something as well, acceptable if they really feel it’s not, I just wish people might keep in mind that we have many levels, people from all different cultures and backgrounds.
I also don’t think it’s fair to delegate what a person get’s tattooed on their body. For one, it is their body, a permanent mark and once again, you may not know a persons full cultural or just personal background from physical characteristics. A tattoo isn’t just a ‘fashion statement’, ill admit to some people it is, even like a novelty, but for a lot of individuals, it is art. And getting tattoos of culturally based icons, such as gods and goddesses, may not be for a fashion reason. I personally find a lot of images very beautiful, in an art form, I appreciate the way an image looks and the beauty of that is something that I want to add to my body because it is stunning. It’s not to make some sort of statement or to mock somebody. I personally wouldn’t get a tattoo of something just to make a statement or without having a connection to it in some form, whether that be through cultural connections or personal connections. A person with a tattoo dealing with a particular culture may think the culture is beautiful, the artwork and general look of the culture is beautiful and they want to include that as a permanent piece of themselves. It may also be connected to someone they personally have in their life, you don’t really know unless you know that person personally. I don’t really think that’s mocking to me. But, I guess that may just be me.
Also, I’m going to just say, that hairstyles are not delegated by a certain culture, definitely not in today’s world. You can’t tell someone how to and how not to wear their hair because it is ‘not part of their cultural background’ I understand where people come from on this issue, and like I said, I’m not telling anyone how they should react if they feel like they are personally offended or their culture is getting offended, I’m not justifying anyone’s ignorance either because it does happen where it can go a too far and become offending. You just have to realize that some individuals may not just be doing it for ‘fashion’ or to ‘look cool’ they may actually appreciate the culture, the beauty of it, they may have a connection to that you don’t see past what your eyes are physically seeing.
The post that kind of fueled me to write this out came from a blog that I usually enjoy seeing posts from, which if anyone is actually reading this, you may know what I’m talking about. It just kind of bothers me to see a post that otherwise kind of effects the main purpose of itself being diminished. It’s always upsetting seeing a blog that is suppose to promote self love and acceptance, kind of drive an offending context into the mix.
How disappointing."
I'm not writing this to rant on those specific issues again. I'm wanting to focus on the main way the post made me feel. Coming from a blog that I otherwise admired as being a great place for women to share posts promoting themselves and their positivity to bring other positivity, For me it seemed to really diminish the main goal of itself in one simple wording. Because when you think about it, taking out the cultural them of it, you're delegating a persons choice of appearance. On this post it was stated that white people shouldn't wear dreads because dreads did not originate from white culture. Just reading over that a thought came to my mind; if a white person can't wear dreads because it didn't originate from their culture, then should a black person not wear their natural hair? Should anyone with tattoos or piercings in general not explore that expression because it may not have originated from their culture? As I stated in my first expression in reaction to that post, everyone comes from various cultural backgrounds in today's society and a lot of physical forms of adaptation on our western culture have been adapted from other cultures. Also, it's really not far to look at a person's physical being and assume that they belong to this and that because honestly, out society if very diverse and you can't actually make the assumption of what full nationality, cultural identity or religious believes an individual may have from physical appearance alone.
But to stray away from the religious and cultural part of it, I just want to talk about body acceptance and self expression. Both of these issues are important to me. As stated, coming from myself as being a plus size female and having dealt with people who otherwise found me inappropriate because of my size, I get the hard reality of it and how hard it can be at times to feel alright in your skin. I still have bad days, everyone of every size does and it's important to know you're not by yourself. Using resources, positive resources such as support groups which could be friends, websites or even magazines and books relating to acceptance, can be a large help but when it comes down to it, you need to find acceptance within yourself and not through other people. Use powerful individuals sharing the positive message as your anchor, so you can take the time to find that right current to love yourself.
With body positivity inside yourself will come body acceptance and self love. Once you find your self love, don't let anyone strip that from you, express yourself in what makes you feel like you. Self expression is something very valued to me because self expression can completely change who you are. No matter what might be said, you chose how you want to look; whether you want your ears stretched, your body pierced, tattoos of 13 on your face, your hair bright pink or lime green, your tongue split; if that's what makes you feel like you, than you do it with no fucks given to a single soul. Nobody has a right to tell you how to look, nobody. Your body is yours to express yourself with and that can be with body modification, accessories and clothing.
I will wear what I like and what makes me feel good. I will cut and color my hair however I want to. I will pierced and decorate my body as I please. You be your own person and rock it with confidence and you will look good. Anyone else who has any option to tell you how to dress, how to wear your hair, what to do with your body can go back and sit behind their office desk and gripe about the bad weather while you make your impact.
Be confident and don't let a single person, a group of people or a blog tell you how to be you.
